I Think It's Spring at Last!

What an absolutely beautiful day!  There's not a cloud in the sky and it's warm!  Finally!!!  I think everyone is sick of winter.  It began at the end of November and it was still snowing last week.  I did have time to get my lawn power raked and aerated this last week before it rained and snowed again.  I just hope that spring is here to stay.  

At my last chemo-therapy treatment, a woman came through the infusion room with a rose for each of the patients and a poem that her daughter had written.  I want to share the poem with you. 

Here's a rose for you, In case you are feeling blue.

For the trial you humbly bear, 

  Must cause considerable wear Upon your glorious soul.

So I just want you to know, You are in my constant prayer,

 And just to make you aware,

However things may go, You will always be my hero,

For the unbelievable might, With which you now fight,

  Within its own right,

  Should make your burden light, and make your day bright.

Casey Withun

I just think this is such a sweet little poem and it really shows alot of thought and maturity on the part of the girl that wrote it.  When I first began my chemo-therapy, I looked around the infusion room and was really taken with the sheer number of people who were fighting cancer, and the bravery and strength that each one of them displayed.  I was totally oblivious to this world before I was thrust into it.  I've come to understand that cancer is not a respector of people.  It strikes the old and the young, the rich and the poor, the strong and the weak.  Most people who are fighting this disease do so with a quiet fortitude that just amazes me.  I feel much like young Casey does.  They've become my heroes.

My next chemo is this coming Tuesday.  I've been trying to come down with a cold for the last week and so far it's no worse than a cough.  I just hope it doesn't stop me from having my treatment.  I'm so close to being done with all of this that I don't want to get way-laid now. 

Well, I'm going to go outside and enjoy the sunshine, so have a nice Sunday.      

   

Easter!

Its Easter weekend and I've been thinking about my relationship with our Lord and Savior.  I've always been a very private person in my faith.  I don't know why, but to me, my faith and beliefs are so precious that I don't want them misunderstood and mocked.  Being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latterday Saints might be one of the reasons for this.  There are so many untruths and half-truths told about my church that it's difficult to try to talk to anyone logically about my beliefs. 

Anyway, this last weekend was the semi-annual conference for my church.  This happens twice a year, in October and in April.  The main meetings are held in Salt Lake City and the speakers come from the First Presidency and the Twelve Apostles, etc.  It was a wonderful conference and there was alot to soak in and ponder.  

The most important principle I gained from this conference was that of personal faith.  We can gain faith through other's faith and testimonies, but unless we have our own deep and abiding faith, we won't progress the way we can.  One of my favorite quotes from the conference was: "Your future is as bright as your faith."  That's so important!  Basically it's telling me, it's up to me.  I am responsible for what happens to me.  If I keep my faith in Jesus and do those things that I know are right, then I know my future is bright.  

The other principle concerning faith that I gained from this conference is that faith and doubt cannot exist together.  This is something that I must remind myself of alot.  When you're going through something like I am, it's so easy to get down and begin to doubt what you truly believe.

From the very beginning of this journey with cancer, I have believed that I will win this battle. I have known that I was where I was supposed to be, and I have the doctors that I am supposed to have.  I have no doubt of any of this, and I just need to keep reminding myself of this and KEEP THE FAITH!!!        

This week, I had my second Taxol treatment, and it hit me like a ton of bricks.  The treatment was on Tuesday, and Wednesday, I felt pretty good, so I ran some errands and paid some bills, then Amy gave my the Neulasta shot to keep up my white blood cell count.  By Thursday morning I was down and out. I felt like I had a bad case of the flu.  I ached from head to toe and my stomach was doing flip flops.  Stupid me, didn't take my anti-nausea medicine the way I'm supposed to and by Thursday evening I was just plain sick.  Needless to say it was not a good couple of days.  Today, I'm feeling alot better, still achy, but I can handle that with some Tylenol.  Only two more treatments!! I'm just hoping the next two will be a little less troublesome.     

Before I end this post, I want to wish everyone an Easter that will bring you closer to the Lord and your own personal faith.  It is because of Jesus' Atonement and Resurrection that we will be resurrected and have the opportunity to return to him.   Have a happy Easter!