Easter!

Its Easter weekend and I've been thinking about my relationship with our Lord and Savior.  I've always been a very private person in my faith.  I don't know why, but to me, my faith and beliefs are so precious that I don't want them misunderstood and mocked.  Being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latterday Saints might be one of the reasons for this.  There are so many untruths and half-truths told about my church that it's difficult to try to talk to anyone logically about my beliefs. 

Anyway, this last weekend was the semi-annual conference for my church.  This happens twice a year, in October and in April.  The main meetings are held in Salt Lake City and the speakers come from the First Presidency and the Twelve Apostles, etc.  It was a wonderful conference and there was alot to soak in and ponder.  

The most important principle I gained from this conference was that of personal faith.  We can gain faith through other's faith and testimonies, but unless we have our own deep and abiding faith, we won't progress the way we can.  One of my favorite quotes from the conference was: "Your future is as bright as your faith."  That's so important!  Basically it's telling me, it's up to me.  I am responsible for what happens to me.  If I keep my faith in Jesus and do those things that I know are right, then I know my future is bright.  

The other principle concerning faith that I gained from this conference is that faith and doubt cannot exist together.  This is something that I must remind myself of alot.  When you're going through something like I am, it's so easy to get down and begin to doubt what you truly believe.

From the very beginning of this journey with cancer, I have believed that I will win this battle. I have known that I was where I was supposed to be, and I have the doctors that I am supposed to have.  I have no doubt of any of this, and I just need to keep reminding myself of this and KEEP THE FAITH!!!        

This week, I had my second Taxol treatment, and it hit me like a ton of bricks.  The treatment was on Tuesday, and Wednesday, I felt pretty good, so I ran some errands and paid some bills, then Amy gave my the Neulasta shot to keep up my white blood cell count.  By Thursday morning I was down and out. I felt like I had a bad case of the flu.  I ached from head to toe and my stomach was doing flip flops.  Stupid me, didn't take my anti-nausea medicine the way I'm supposed to and by Thursday evening I was just plain sick.  Needless to say it was not a good couple of days.  Today, I'm feeling alot better, still achy, but I can handle that with some Tylenol.  Only two more treatments!! I'm just hoping the next two will be a little less troublesome.     

Before I end this post, I want to wish everyone an Easter that will bring you closer to the Lord and your own personal faith.  It is because of Jesus' Atonement and Resurrection that we will be resurrected and have the opportunity to return to him.   Have a happy Easter!