Thoughts on a Saturday Morning

Sitting here, eating breakfast, I'm thinking about this last week and some of the things that happened. This last weekend, I thought we were going to lose our dog, Darby. He's fifteen years old, and on Saturday evening, he just quit moving. He wouldn't come up the stairs to our bedroom when it was time for bed, (He has to sleep in the room with us) and he really struggled to even go outside to relieve himself. His appetite was still good and he was drinking enough water. I couldn't help thinking I was going to have to have him put to sleep. The idea of that was just too much, especially after losing Sherman. So, I took him to the veterinarian on Monday. I told her what had been going on. She checked him out and found out he had injured his back, probably bounding up our stairs. He still thinks he's a puppy. Anyway, she gave him some steroids and muscle relaxants, and he's back to his old self. Thank goodness!!

On Wednesday, I went to the Huntsman Cancer Center for my third infusion of Zometa. It's really odd how hard a time I have going there. It brings back too many memories of being on chemotherapy and all that that entailed. Once I get to the infusion room, and meet the nurse who will be doing the infusion, I relax and I'm okay. The nurses that are there, remember me, and are so nice. We usually have a good visit, which makes me feel great. The infusion itself only takes about a half hour, but with blood work, etc. I can expect to be there at least an hour and a half to two hours. I'm very glad I'm taking part in this clinical trial, because it will at least help me keep my bones strong, but hopefully it will be an answer to helping women avoid bone cancer after having breast cancer.

Thursday, Pat took our grandson to the optician to get a new lense in his glasses. The optician's

office is in a medical building, so they're walking to the office when Colin notices that one of the signs on an office is 'Plastic Surgeon'. He asks Pat what a plastic surgeon does, and after some explanation, Colin asks him if anyone in our family has ever had plastic surgery, so Pat tells him that I'll be having some this fall. Then Colin asks him why. Pat tells him that I have a lot of scars on my chest from the surgery I had last winter, so the plastic surgeon is going to fix them and make my chest like new. Colin thinks about that for a miute, then says "That's got to hurt!"

Out of the mouths of babes!!

Yesterday, I met my friend, Kay VanKampen, for lunch. She and I have been friends since our college days. We try to get together at least once every two or three months for lunch and a good visit. She still lives in Ogden and since I live in Bountiful, we compromise and meet in Layton for lunch. They have alot of great restaurants, so we have some good choices. Yesterday, we went to McCool's Public House. It's an Irish restaurant/bar, and she'd never been there. The food was great and we had a good visit. It was a nice ending to a busy week.

And so goes life. My thought for the week is, "Love is a present that can be given every single day you live."

August Rush

That's the title of one of my favorite movies. Why I titled this post that, I don't know, except that Ausgust is rushing by and so is summer, and I don't know where it went. My last post was dated July 17th and the last month has been a rush of activity. Pat and I left for Illinois on July 23rd. We took our grandson, Colin, with us. It was a major roadtrip (three 7 hour days). I was really worried about how Colin would make the trip, but he was a real trooper. We kept him plied with movies, Nintendo DS games and books, and he was quite happy. After our first day, we pulled off the freeway in Sidney, Nebraska, and he asked Pat, "Grandpa, how long would it take on an airplane?" Pat answered, "3 hours". I could see Colin's wheels turning, and I said, "Yes, Colin, we'd be there by now, but heaven forbid that we miss the adventure of the roadtrip." Personally, I'd take the plane anyday. The trip along I80 to Illinois has to be one the most boring, least scenic trips ever. Miles and miles of nothing but flat, flat barren land. It really doesn't get very interesting till you get into Iowa, but who am I to complain. I'm just along for the ride, whether I want to be or not.

Our visit in Illinois was alot of fun. Pat's Aunt Catherine had a 90th birthday party on July 26th. So that was our first stop. We spent three days in Urbana, Illinois visiting with alot of family and friends who had made the trip to help her celebrate. Her actual birthday is today, August 27th, but the party was held in July because more people could come then. It was great seeing so much family, many of whom we hadn't seen in a long time. After our stay in Urbana,

we went to Savanna, Illinois, and stayed with Pat's sister, Pam and her husband, Jon, for a week. Colin had a great time, because he got to meet and play with alot of cousins that he had never met before.

We got back to Utah on August 5th. It was great to get back home, but we found out one of our cats disappeared the weekend before we got home. Pat, of course, was ecstatic. He hates cats. I'm still in mourning. Sherman was such a cool cat, and I just can't figure it out. If I knew what had happened to him, I might get some closure, but I don't. I've been checking with the animal control and the humane society, in case he got picked up, but nothing. I just hope he found a new home, with people who love him.

We were home long enough to wash clothes and read the mail, then we FLEW to Sacramento to visit some of our friends that we hadn't seen for more than a year. We spent three days with them and had a fun time. They were heading to Alaska for an Inland Passage cruise from Seward, Alaska to Victoria, Canada three days after we left. I was kind of envious, but we all began planning our next European vacation, once this year is behind me. We're going to take a river cruise down the Danube, probably next spring. It will be my celebration trip for getting through 2009.

This last month has been the "Get out of Dodge" month. It's the first time in a year that I've been able to go anywhere other than the Huntsman Cancer Center, and it's been so nice to be free to just do what I want to do, without doctor's appointments, etc. to contend with. I still have my reconstructive surgery to look forward to, but that won't be till October, so till then, I'm enjoying getting back to some normalcy.

Summer Time and the Living is Easy!

Well, here it is, July 17th, and with my main cancer treatment behind me, the living IS easy. My last radiation treatment was on July 2nd. I'm finally getting over the burn. The worst of that hit after the treatments had ended. There was an area under my right arm that looked like it had been fried. It was brown and dry, and the dead skin just finally sluffed off. The rest of the area that was radiated was just like a very bad sunburn. No matter how much Miaderm I put on, it just plain hurt. Now it's finally healing and I can actually wear my bra again. I know this sounds awful, but I didn't have it as bad as some of the women that I befriended in the waiting room. There's always someone you meet that's worse off than you, and it really gives you pause and just thankful for your blessings.

Anyway, I met with the surgeon that will do my reconstruction a week after I was finished with the radiation. He said that I would not be a candidate for a silcon or saline implant, because of the effect the radiation had on my skin. I don't know all of the reasons, but I think alot of it has to do with scarring, etc. So, I'll be doing the reconstruction where they take fat, etc. out of the lower stomach (tummy tuck) and make a boob. They attach blood vessels, etc. so there is circulation. This is a major surgery. It'll take about six to eight hours. I won't be having it till October because I need to be totally healed from the radiation.

In the meantime, I'm taking part in a study at the Huntsman. It's being done to find out if adding bisphosphonates (drugs that have strong effects on the bones and can strengthen them) to hormonal therapy (Tamoxifen) will help prevent cancer from spreading to the bones or other parts of the body. Since I was already taking Fosamax, I decided to do this. It certainly won't hurt me, and if it can find answers to help in the future fight against this disease, I'm only glad to be part of this. It's a national study involving about 4000 women. They are studying three different bisphosphonates. Two are pills that a woman takes on a daily basis for three years, and the third is an infusion that a woman has on a monthly basis for six months, then quarterly for the remainder of the study. I was radomized into the one that is the infusion. The bisphosphonate is Zometa. My oncologist told me it is a very good drug and he uses it along with chemotherapy for people who are already suffering from bone cancer. I've had one infusion already and my next one will be on July 22nd. So far there have not been any bad side effects. I'll be doing this for three years along with the hormone therapy, Tamoxifen (which I take for five years).

And so goes my life. I sometimes wonder what happened and how I got here, but here I am, and I'm going to make the very best I can of it. Life deals everyone challenges, and it's how we handle these challenges that makes us who we are.

Where Does theTime Go?!?

Today is June 20th.  I haven't written on my blog for over a month.   I don't know what happened to me.  The last month has been a total loss with anything productive.  I began my radiation therapy on May 21st and that's all I've done.  I go to the Huntsman Center five days a week.  My appointment is at 3pm, so I leave home about 2:15pm in order to get there on time. The appointment usually takes only about fifteen to twenty minutes, but with waiting time I usually don't leave till about 4pm and get back home between 4:30pm and 5pm.  The radiation therapy itself usually wipes me out, so by the time I get home, I just want to crash.  Needless to say, we've done alot of takeout lately.  I've had twenty-one treatments so far, and I still have nine to go.  The area that's being treated is very red, and is becoming quite sensitive.  It feels like having a very bad sunburn, following a day at the beach.  I keep my skin slathered with a special lotion for radiation burn, and it does help, but it will just be nice to have it all behind me.   

My hair's beginning to grow back.  I have about an eighth of an inch all over my head.  The radiation therapists tell me once it starts growing it really comes in fast.  I thought if it's grown alot by the time I have my last treatment, then maybe I'll take my scarf off and let them see it. That's the one good thing about going everyday for these treatments.  I've really gotten to know the therapists well.  My favorite is Debbie.  She has such a fun personality.  We always have a good laugh or two while I'm there.  I've decided the key to getting through this whole process is to keep a smile on my face and in my heart, and laugh as much as possible.  

It is now Wednesday, June 24th. and I still haven't finished this post.  Anyway, one of my friends from church, Janice Simmons, brought dinner to Pat and me tonight.  This is the second day this week that someone has brought dinner.  Monday my neighbor, Doty, brought over homemade shrimp fettucini.  It was delicious.  It's like I said before, I have the best neighbors and friends.  It really makes me feel guilty at times, because they've been so good to me, and I haven't felt that sick that I should be getting such wonderful help.  There will be a time when I can return the favor.  

I'm now down to six more treatments.  It's going by fast.  It will be so great to have all of this behind me.  I'll be on Tamoxifin (spelling?) for five years, and I'll be back for periodic checkups but the main treatments will be over.  I'm taking part in a study that I'll talk about in my next blog.  That's one of the good things about being at Huntsman.  I have the opportunity to be in studies that will help in the future treatments of cancer, but will possibly help me also.

This has been a difficult week for me.  My friend, Becky, that I wrote about in March, passed away on Monday.  She had colon cancer that had matastisized to her brain and then went to her pancreas.  She really fought hard, but the cancer just took over.  Her mother called me Tuesday morning and told me about her death.  She said that she only weighed about fifty pounds when she died. Becky was such a feisty gal, but the last three years have been hell for her.  Her husband, Mike, had fought cancer for two years before he died last July and then Becky wound up battling for her life this year.  Now she's gone.  I know that she's at peace and with her beloved Mike.  They were truly soulmates and I just don't think they could be apart.  She'll be missed. 

  

  

  

Susan G. Komen Walk for the Cure

It's been one week since I walked in the Susan G. Komen Walk for the Cure.  What an inspiring experience that was.  The last time I wrote on my Blog, I talked about my friend, Lori Workman who had gotten me involved in this project.  Well, last weekend, May 9th, our Gilmore Girls and Company team of thirty two people met at 8am.  We were part of more than 18,000 people who were there to walk for the cure of breast cancer.  Many of these people were walking to honor a loved one who had lost their battle with cancer, but there were also thousands of survivors, including my brother's mother-in-law, Melba Blair, who is a thirty year survivor.  She is ninety-four years old and with the help of her daughter and grand-daughter walked the 1-mile fun walk. She wound up on a tv news report about the Walk, and was even interviewed for a documentary that is being produced.

I was able to walk the 1-mile fun walk with my special "niece", Lisseth's, mother, Graciella.  She is here from Venezuela and was part of our team.  After just having my last chemo-therapy on Wednesday, May 6th, I wasn't ready to do a 5k.  In fact, the 1-mile was almost too much for me, but I did it.  

It was hard to fathom how many people took part in this Walk.  When we were in the middle of it, we looked behind us, and there was a sea of people for as far we could see, and it was the same looking forward.  My son, Mark took pictures, as well as practically everyone on the team, so, if I can figure out how to put pictures on here, I'll post some of them. 

The most impressive part of the Walk were the number of women who had fought this incidiece disease and won.  There was a survivor's parade following the Walk that was at least two-thousand strong.  It really strenthened by belief that my fight can and will be won.  I'm so thankful I took part in this event, and I'm planning to do it again next year.  Then I can be a survivor, too.  

Time Flies!

I just read my last Blog entry and it was published two weeks ago.  Since then  I did have my seventh chemo-therapy, and my cough turned into a sinus infection that I've been fighting ever since.  After two weeks of snorting, coughing and just being plain miserable, I went to my regular doctor, and she put me on an anti-biotic and Mucinex.  Within three days I was feeling much better, and now my cough has stopped and I can actually breathe again.  The miracle of modern medicine.  Now my husband, Pat is dealing with much the same thing.  Of course, he's one of these guys that WON"T go to doctor.  So we'll see how long it takes him to get over this.  

My LAST chemo-therapy is coming up this Wednesday, May 6th.  I can hardly believe I've made it through.  I remember back on January 27th when I had my first treatment.  I was scared to death.  I didn't know what to expect, and looking forward to nearly four months of chemo was daunting. Now here I am at the end.  Looking back at the whole experience, I can honestly say it wasn't half as bad as I expected.  Yes, I had my bad days, but they were few, and I found if I followed the directions of the doctors, I could control most of the physical problems with very little effort.  I've come to the conclusion that a big percentage of how we react to things is our attitude.  I decided when I first found out I had breast cancer, that I was not going to be a victim, and I was not going to feel sorry for myself.  That's why I named my Blog 'The Year of the Cure'.  I was and am going to fight this with all I have, and I will get better and be back to my old self before I know it. 

    To celebrate completing the chemo-therapy part of my treatment, I'm going to walk in the Susan G. Komen Walk for the Cure.  A friend of mine, Lori Workman, talked to me about this back in February.  She said we should form a team and participate.  She and her daughter, Lisa, have done this for years.  They've even gone to several of the national three-day walks. Anyway

I thought about it for awhile and decided it was the thing to do.  So, 'The Gilmore Girls and Company' was formed.  Now two months later, we have thirty people registered with our team. We've raised almost $500.00.  We had special t-shirts made for our team, and now we're looking forward to the Walk this next Saturday, May 9th.  It should be a great time.  Most of our team will be doing the 5k walk/run, but there is also a 1 mile fun walk for us wusses.  I hope I'll make that much.  With my chemo just three days before, I'm not sure how much I'll be up for, but that's what my teammates are for.  My son, Mark, is going to be our official photographer, so I'll post some pictures on my next post.  If anyone would like to know more about this you can visit the websight:  www.komenslc.org  After the Walk, we're having a picnic for everyone on the team and their families.  It'll be a great day of celebration.  Then I'll be ready to take a break before I move on to the next phase of the Cure.       

I Think It's Spring at Last!

What an absolutely beautiful day!  There's not a cloud in the sky and it's warm!  Finally!!!  I think everyone is sick of winter.  It began at the end of November and it was still snowing last week.  I did have time to get my lawn power raked and aerated this last week before it rained and snowed again.  I just hope that spring is here to stay.  

At my last chemo-therapy treatment, a woman came through the infusion room with a rose for each of the patients and a poem that her daughter had written.  I want to share the poem with you. 

Here's a rose for you, In case you are feeling blue.

For the trial you humbly bear, 

  Must cause considerable wear Upon your glorious soul.

So I just want you to know, You are in my constant prayer,

 And just to make you aware,

However things may go, You will always be my hero,

For the unbelievable might, With which you now fight,

  Within its own right,

  Should make your burden light, and make your day bright.

Casey Withun

I just think this is such a sweet little poem and it really shows alot of thought and maturity on the part of the girl that wrote it.  When I first began my chemo-therapy, I looked around the infusion room and was really taken with the sheer number of people who were fighting cancer, and the bravery and strength that each one of them displayed.  I was totally oblivious to this world before I was thrust into it.  I've come to understand that cancer is not a respector of people.  It strikes the old and the young, the rich and the poor, the strong and the weak.  Most people who are fighting this disease do so with a quiet fortitude that just amazes me.  I feel much like young Casey does.  They've become my heroes.

My next chemo is this coming Tuesday.  I've been trying to come down with a cold for the last week and so far it's no worse than a cough.  I just hope it doesn't stop me from having my treatment.  I'm so close to being done with all of this that I don't want to get way-laid now. 

Well, I'm going to go outside and enjoy the sunshine, so have a nice Sunday.